The wait...

So, I've been really busy for the past few months, and I have consequently decided that I am the worst blogger on the planet. But, I thought I would at least make some sort of post.

I have submitted my applications and my prescreening recordings. Now the wait begins. It is exciting and terrifying at the same time. The fate of my future is being decided by what they think of the recordings I put on a small, plastic disc. EEK!

I also had to come to a few very difficult decisions. I was often forced to choose between two separate takes of excerpts. One would be technically clean and musical. Another would be less musical, less clean, but perfect rhythm and tempo. I chose to take the cleaner, more musical versions in favor of slight tempo fluctuations. Lets hope that was the right decision.

Now, what schools am I applying to you may ask? I'm not telling... for now at least. I have decided however that the type of school would change. I no longer have any desire to attend a top notch conservatory. The attitude of these institutions just... well... I wouldn't do well there. I want teachers and a learning environment that are nurturing, supportive, gracious, kind, loving, and down to earth. I don't come from a prestigious background despite everything that I have achieved in the short time that I've been taking lessons. I want to study with someone who only wants students who play well, and have the desire to smile at them every day when they walk through the door. I don't want a teacher who only wants trophy students who already have a career and reputation; students who only look for big names to put on their resumes.

I've also decided that I'm going to shoot for my dreams. But as long as I try, if I fail, then I'll be happy. If I don't make it in music, that's okay. I tried. I can still be a great flutist and have a day job. Not being a full time musician is not failure. Failure is forgetting to realize all of the blessings in our lives and the ability to really enjoy music and life. Often I think... full time musicians forget those things.

Find joy.